Helene dropped all her messages on my community. Just as I was working on Rights of Nature for the Swannanoa River who also delivered her messages in floods and landslides. 🌱🌿💚
Sarah, I love everything about your essay (perhaps especially your determination to master the pull up—the ultimate Yoda-approved mind training technique) except the phrase “toxic positivity.” Maybe I’m lucky (for sure, I am, although as they say: the harder I work, the luckier I get) but I can’t ever recall being around someone whose positivity in any way deflated my determination. For me, people who maintain their positivity in the face of long odds are like oxygen (and since I’m invoking that old metaphor, allow me to say the song has it wrong: you don’t get too high if you get too much love, or oxygen). I use positivity as a strategy—a self-management strategy and a strategy to help others maintain their motivation. I don’t know you well, but I suspect you do too. Your positivity radiates— helping to shield others from the kryptonite-like effects of the insanity that rages around us—and I thank you for that. Onward and upward!
Love that, and it doesn’t work that way for me so I figured I’d share back my experience. Sarah, your writing gives me life because it IS vibrant. You practice Francis Weller’s letting yourself be stretched wide by holding grief in one hand and joy in the other. You name both. You let yourself be seen in your struggle of being aware at this time. For me, toxic positivity is when we pretend like all that is not happening, and focus only on the hope part of things, skipping over how we grieve, how we metabolize fear and anger. It makes me feel alone in my struggle to function in this world. In Sarah’s writing, I feel her wrestling with those realities openly, and that helps me get out of bed and try again, because so often I just do not feel positive. Also the dance videos always help. The all around sass. Leaning into both/and. K getting out of bed now. Pull up bar energy is still a bit far away for me. 🥰😄
Wow, that's too generous. I love this framework, thank you for sharing. I don't know Francis Weller, but just looked him up. "Grief keeps the heart fluid and soft," wow. Melanie, you are a delight. Hope you are doing ok!
Ed! Thank you so much for this lovely note! And I appreciate the nuanced feedback. I agree, positivity is my personal self-management strategy! Anything less is a recipe for hand in sand, or brain in fog. It works (mostly) for me, and I like to leave it there for others as an opt-in, with as many entry points as possible. I think I tend to overcorrect on the toxic positivity, as I am worried about projecting too much 'good vibes only,' energy, which is perhaps unnecessary because I also can’t ever recall being around someone whose positivity in any way deflated my determination! Thank you thank you! (and now I must away to my pull up bar.)
Go, sister! Your goodness in a dire situation!
Helene dropped all her messages on my community. Just as I was working on Rights of Nature for the Swannanoa River who also delivered her messages in floods and landslides. 🌱🌿💚
Sarah, I love everything about your essay (perhaps especially your determination to master the pull up—the ultimate Yoda-approved mind training technique) except the phrase “toxic positivity.” Maybe I’m lucky (for sure, I am, although as they say: the harder I work, the luckier I get) but I can’t ever recall being around someone whose positivity in any way deflated my determination. For me, people who maintain their positivity in the face of long odds are like oxygen (and since I’m invoking that old metaphor, allow me to say the song has it wrong: you don’t get too high if you get too much love, or oxygen). I use positivity as a strategy—a self-management strategy and a strategy to help others maintain their motivation. I don’t know you well, but I suspect you do too. Your positivity radiates— helping to shield others from the kryptonite-like effects of the insanity that rages around us—and I thank you for that. Onward and upward!
Love that, and it doesn’t work that way for me so I figured I’d share back my experience. Sarah, your writing gives me life because it IS vibrant. You practice Francis Weller’s letting yourself be stretched wide by holding grief in one hand and joy in the other. You name both. You let yourself be seen in your struggle of being aware at this time. For me, toxic positivity is when we pretend like all that is not happening, and focus only on the hope part of things, skipping over how we grieve, how we metabolize fear and anger. It makes me feel alone in my struggle to function in this world. In Sarah’s writing, I feel her wrestling with those realities openly, and that helps me get out of bed and try again, because so often I just do not feel positive. Also the dance videos always help. The all around sass. Leaning into both/and. K getting out of bed now. Pull up bar energy is still a bit far away for me. 🥰😄
Wow, that's too generous. I love this framework, thank you for sharing. I don't know Francis Weller, but just looked him up. "Grief keeps the heart fluid and soft," wow. Melanie, you are a delight. Hope you are doing ok!
Ed! Thank you so much for this lovely note! And I appreciate the nuanced feedback. I agree, positivity is my personal self-management strategy! Anything less is a recipe for hand in sand, or brain in fog. It works (mostly) for me, and I like to leave it there for others as an opt-in, with as many entry points as possible. I think I tend to overcorrect on the toxic positivity, as I am worried about projecting too much 'good vibes only,' energy, which is perhaps unnecessary because I also can’t ever recall being around someone whose positivity in any way deflated my determination! Thank you thank you! (and now I must away to my pull up bar.)